Stop Fixating On Others By Human Design

Juliette Stapleton [00:00:15]:
Hello, and welcome to another episode of lighthouse projector series with your hosts, Anita Keene And, Juliette Stapleton, you see all the information here on screen about us and check out show notes if you want to follow us.

But Let me just, summarize again and remind you if you have seen or listened to other episodes, the lighthouse projector Serious, we call it human design conversations for all because although both of us are projectors, Anita is an emotional projector, 51. I am a splenic projector one three. We’re here to guide you, but we want to have a very all inclusive conversation every time even when a conversation goes about a specific type. And today, we are going to talk about projectors and something that is really specific to projector pipe. But if you’re not a projector, don’t tune out. In fact, tune in. Because in every relationships, there’s 2 people involved, at least.

Juliette Stapleton [00:01:16]:
Right? And so everybody is responsible for how this this relationship will go. And therefore, being aware of what Or how the other person is operating based on their design is actually invaluable invaluable, awareness, invaluable heal to be able to determine, you know, that okay. I’m dealing with this odd creature here because hey, guys. Projector is a diagnosis. Right? It’s not like the normal person, the operation of a projector. In fact, all non energy types are bid odd. You know, manifestors are definitely not what the world thinks we all should be. Right? But that’s because the world is 70% generators.

Juliette Stapleton [00:01:56]:
And you guys also condition every the rest of us, you know, when we’re in groups into being generators too. So we kinda have this One way of being and conditioning and all these things, but then we we when we hone in on how do these projector guys work, and it’s very, very different. And it’s so different that, like, if you’re a generator, you could be surprised the way The way we are. And it I think it’s all about how our aura is shaped because we are talking about the mechanics of energy and interaction. This is no no magic stuff. Nothing. This is literally almost it’s not physical. It’s metaphysical probably, but it’s it’s it’s just the mechanics of how things interact, how they interject, and what happens when that interaction happens, energetic interactions between 2 people.

Juliette Stapleton [00:02:47]:
What happens within Both of them. It was very interesting. The, inspiration for this episode actually happened with, me posting on Facebook, And I had this, like, little contemplation about my personal relationships that I’m building now with a generator guy. And I find myself hyperfixating and hyperfixating to a point of exhaustion. I was married for 20 years before that. My husband passed away early in 2023, and this domain is a completely, in a way, new domain. I forgot how To build a relation. I forgot how to date.

Juliette Stapleton [00:03:25]:
I forgot how we interact. And what was became very, very obvious to me is that, I don’t have a healthy approach to this. So I asked started asking myself why. Of course, I looked at everything. I looked at How my brain operates. You know, I have a suspicion of, being an ADHD person. So, there’s fixation there, you know, obviously, from that side. There is inability to disconnect.

Juliette Stapleton [00:03:51]:
There is the need for dopamine. There is a need for and the dopamine that comes from connection to a very specific one. It’s not like I just need to go and stimulate myself with something else. And and it’s like addiction. It really is like addiction. But Then human design walks in, and Anita was the messenger of from the human design point of view. And she messaged me and said, Juliet, I have this great idea for another episode of lighthouse projector series, and we should Talk about this because this is something that is very typical for a projector. Because of our aura is shaped, imagine, like an ice cream cone, we are laser focused on the other.

Juliette Stapleton [00:04:30]:
In fact, the existential question for projector is, who is the other? You know, we are focused on the other. We are completely confused when it comes to ourselves, But we’re so clear and we see within the other, but energetically, we penetrate them. And so there, it creates this energetic cord. And Anita was saying, I would love to talk about this. I would love to talk about how can you separate from the other being a projector without a feeling that you have to almost like black and white vision of things. You have to break up with the person. You have to cut everything and all connection Because you’re constantly, constantly, constantly connected with that person. And, of course, guys, loads of things happen when we experience that kind of connection.

Juliette Stapleton [00:05:13]:
You know? We started with the romance and, yes, love is in itself this Magical magical way of connecting to each other and, you know, almost responding to each other’s feelings over distances. And and this is there’s a lot of magic that’s happening. Not magic that it’s not real because it’s absolutely real. But, yes, there is that. But how do you detach? And some types, generator types are so much better at that, so much better at that. Manifesto types, so much better. They don’t even need anybody. You know, reflectors, they’re designed in a way that they’re not gonna be bothered.

Juliette Stapleton [00:05:49]:
They can connect or maybe they reflect the connection. Like, I was married to a reflector for 3 years. We’ve had lovely relationships. But was he as connected into me as I was into him, or was he reflecting My connection, that was that’s an interesting question too. You know? So we just wanted to talk about this. And, Anita, maybe I will ask you, and I know you Said that in in the voice mail, message that you left me that day when we planned this episode. I will remind you what I want to ask you. You said that some people, like Five ones, projectors, and people with certain gates are much more likely to kinda interject with another.

Juliette Stapleton [00:06:25]:
So maybe we can talk about this. And it applies to everyone, but there are sometimes, you know, people who are just more hooked up on others than than others.

Annita Keane [00:06:35]:
Absolutely. There’s well, this it’s a complex subject, but if we start with the auras first, I remember when we were chatting, we were talking about our the projector energy probing and the manifestor energy embracing, which both are very true. But what I what I what I kept on thinking was a temperature probe into Turkey Keane see how good it was, right, like, just kept on thinking of that actual interjection for us. Right? Or that actual, But act but truly, that is kind of what emotions move us to do at times. When we’re moving away from someone, We immediately feel a fear that, oh my god, you know, oh my god. And we jump into fear Interaction instead of the connection, the beautiful connection that we have with the other person. And when I say that, It’s like, as you say, the separation and immediately feeling fear as opposed to the separation and just regaining your own energy. Reconnecting with your own energy in the knowing that you’re gonna meet that person next week, like, it’s it’s not the end of the world.

Annita Keane [00:07:47]:
But what you’re telling your body and your brain is, Oh my god. He’s going. He’s gone. It’s you know, it’s and

Juliette Stapleton [00:07:55]:
then I I just have to I I’m going to interject very quickly. Guys, one correction. I think, Anita, you just I think you just miss sort of you said manifestor enveloping energy. It’s a generator enveloping energy. Manifestors, they’re like dancing. But that’s what you we were talking about the generator versus, projector connection. And what you described actually is so so accurate. In my experience, This is exactly what happens.

Juliette Stapleton [00:08:19]:
My guy leaves. The door closes, and I break. Like, I break, and he can go home and for day or 2, feel Absolutely happy that we have this connection, and he holds it. And he’s just absolutely incredibly happy, and he doesn’t need to be in touch with me necessarily This time and I am dead because I am all in this anxiety and fear, and I need to Keane. And it feels like An addict. You know? I just my drug is gone. But this is exactly so so I’m sorry that I interrupted you, but I just just thought that maybe I need to validate and correct.

Annita Keane [00:08:54]:
Absolutely. And that’s the thing. Okay. The generator. But with us, what happens is we With the fear then, we’re enmeshing Yes. And totally disconnecting rather than just reconnecting to yourself. And so as projectors, when we scan our connection instead of probe it, I think it’s a healthier dynamic. So, the the the generators, I think a lot of it can boil down to our definition.

Annita Keane [00:09:29]:
Single definition people are very good at Stepping in and stepping out. You know, the profile, the 6th profile, the 5th profile I’m very good at stepping in and stepping out. I would say myself, when I’m there, I’m all there. When I’m out, I’m all out. I’m not even thinking about you. And, like, you know, it’s it’s seem Unrealistic, but, single definition will. The split definition has more difficulty separating.

Juliette Stapleton [00:09:57]:
That’s me.

Annita Keane [00:09:58]:
Yeah. Me too. We have more difficulty separating. And the 4th line in the profile Finds it difficult to separate because they’re the bridge, though. If you knew how you’re healthy lead more healthily designed to connect, it really helps. The 4th line is the bridge, and the key there is staying connected in your own energy as you interact with others. So it’s not losing yourself in it when you and and then separating. But it’s so easy because we’re so driven by emotion in society that We forget that those natural connections of just being together without any, you know, I just love being with you.

Annita Keane [00:10:40]:
You love being with me. We forget that that energy in itself is how 2 people create an energetic dynamic of love Without interference of the emotion. Right? There’s no questions when you’re with the person. It’s when you separate. And so that’s partly probably one of the biggest things is how do you how are you designed to let go? Because Very often, regardless of type, when we let go, we dive into our attachment issues.

Juliette Stapleton [00:11:17]:
Yes. That’s it. That’s it. You probably this is what’s in my YouTube search. Everything this this next thing that I went into, I was like, oh my god. I have an anxious attachment style, which I actually don’t. I actually have a very, very healthy attachment style when I’m more sure about my relationships. But in the beginning and with this thing that she said, Anita, I I have a question for you because you mentioned something, and I think we need to unpack this.

Juliette Stapleton [00:11:43]:
You said, you know, it’s important that you scan the other person rather than probe them. So for me, this is unclear because So how can how can you practically how does this look like, or what does it look like?

Annita Keane [00:11:58]:
Okay. What does it look like? That’s a brilliant question. I’ve been trying to work this out myself. Scanning the environment is realizing scanning the person because a a projector can just walk into the room and read the room without anybody saying anything. Right? We’re energy managers. Actually, manifestors can do similar, and reflectors are just so so let’s stay focused in this. When you are with someone and you’re appreciating them for who they are and what they want, And you’re not interjecting or trying to fix or trying to you’re actually hearing what they’re saying without trying to fix it. You are speaking without Without attachment, you’re, you know, you’re just chatting, without the emotional attachment of needing to fix, needing to heal, needing to Be accepted needing to be acknowledged.

Annita Keane [00:12:53]:
I know this sounds weird because when you don’t need that, you can scan the room and just chat to the person for who they are. As opposed to all the attachments that come I was talking to a girl the other day or a woman the other day, and she was there. You know, I we we got married, and our Our our relationship went to pot, and I was there. Well well, you know, marriage has a lot of emotional and, mental, attachments and expectations that can ruin a A relationship. So why don’t you just be yourself and your, say, Mary and Pat rather than marriage? Marriage is only a concept anyway. Like, it was already designed as a a contractual, reflection of your assets and power. That was what marriage was, you know, a contract to to strengthen assets and money and power. And so When we’re scanning our environment, we’re kinda taking it as it is.

Juliette Stapleton [00:13:53]:
I think it’s the hardest thing. You know what? What resonated with me, especially when you started Saying, you know, you you can do it without fixing. So you’re the 5th line person, which means that the underlying I I don’t know what your motivation. I don’t remember what your motivation is in human Design, but the 5th line color is guilt. Right? It’s It’s the color of guilt, which is actually the being of service and fixing is that energy. When you want to fix, you’re very good at that. You know? Anyone with the 5th line and good at that. But I think what happens here with this with these things we’re trying to do, it where the root of these things are.

Juliette Stapleton [00:14:29]:
I think it’s in your conscious line, Shadow of your personality line. So I am a first line. And, of course, for me, it’s the security in relationships is what the triggers. So I am there with the person, and my issue is that they haven’t told me enough or haven’t told me yet That it’s very secure and they love me and, you know, I am there. There’s no black and white bottom line. And as long as there’s a because it’s a fear of motivation. You know? And as long as first color. As long as there’s no bottom line, I’m going to be anxious.

Juliette Stapleton [00:15:03]:
And that was really big. So the Keane line, you know, Let’s think about it as a hope. You know? It’s like things will figure themselves out if but as long as they’re not figuring out, they’re trying to get you know, is this perfect person, you know, they’re just kinda like grabbing onto that person looking for answers in them within and not within themselves. That’s where the anxiety will come from. You know? And the 3rd line, you know, am I am I good enough? Will they find out That I am not perfect. You know? That’s the biggest big hookup. You know? My god. Just one day, they will she will he will find out I’m not a superman, not a superwoman.

Juliette Stapleton [00:15:40]:
You know? And then there’s anxiety or they expect me their expectations, they expect me to be this or that. And and and I find that every third line person that I know Have that hookup when 3 is the first, first line, especially in this Keane of the hookup that creates this anxiety when the other leaves. You know, what are we hooked up on? You know, it’s so hard to the first line you mentioned. You know, What was it? Will they like me? Do they like me enough? That’s what the 4th line. The 4th line wants to wants wants to be liked, and then the 5th line wants to fix. And and the 6th line the 6th line is perfection probably as well. Is it the perfect partner For me, do they see me

Annita Keane [00:16:27]:
Yeah. The 6th line can be, you know, the 3 line for the 1st 30 years of its life, and then it moves into, so the three line is kind of, to me, bumping into life sometimes.

Juliette Stapleton [00:16:38]:
Oh, yes. Totally. Well, yeah. As a parent.

Annita Keane [00:16:40]:
You know? So so and then kinda steps back and kinda goes, hang on. Going into life kinda hurts. I don’t really want to keep doing that. I want to be more discerning about how I move forward. But in relationship, the 6th line is always looking, Always seeking a partner. Always seeking a partner.

Juliette Stapleton [00:16:57]:
It’s about the perfect partner, isn’t it? It’s perfect relationships, the perfection, the The full harmony and balance and and, you know, evaluating that sold the time. So unless you feel that this is perfect partnership, you’re going to be Just you’re going to be insecure. And the color the color of innocence where, again, you’re an observer. You’re kinda in it. You’re kinda doing it, but you to have both. You have to be both and and stepping back, but you’re not. You’re kinda anxious. You’re grabbing onto a person.

Juliette Stapleton [00:17:26]:
You’re and that’s where the anxiety comes from. Very interesting to understand when your hyperfixation happens, specifically if you’re a projector, also what it triggers. And I think that the profile lines give us, a very good insight, at least at the 1st level. Of course, there’s so many nuances.

Annita Keane [00:17:42]:
Yeah. But that is yeah. The first thing we need to consider is our Is how we actually process information. So our reticular activation system, literally, you think something, our reticular activation system is our way of processing thoughts, and it Keane of filters the thoughts so that, so that All the information that’s around place doesn’t overwhelm us. Right? But so what it does, if you’re thinking something, your reticular activation system Scans your environment for more of it to confirm it. Design make it true? Which is interesting because a lot of people think I think it’s so it’s true. Not the case.

Juliette Stapleton [00:18:18]:
So

Annita Keane [00:18:18]:
when you’re in, when you’re afraid, you can be sitting on the couch thinking about something and it, your body thinks there’s a bear in front of you When you’re anxious, your body thinks you’re in mortal danger, and so you’re creating all these chemicals that seem to confirm that the fear is true. So but it’s really just that your your thought is activating your brain to create those chemicals. So when we leave someone And we think about them. It’s so easy to hyperfixate because we’re constantly seeing evidence. They’re not there. They’re not there. Where am I gonna see them again? They’re not there. Right? So it builds Of anxiety in the body.

Annita Keane [00:18:55]:
What can be really, when you know that, you can actually Step back and start breathing deeply and realign your system. Potentially, you know, dissolving any cords that you’ve set up through that meeting so that you can regain your integrity again, your your Your autonomy again as a person. And there was another thing that I was good. So that’s the first thing, regardless of type, regardless of The difficulties and struggles that we have. The second thing is I did relation I’m a relationship coach. I trained with Gay and Katie Hendrix, the Hendrix Institute, and they actually showed us how the energetic connections happen without words. So if you hug someone, if you’re afraid of getting into a relationship, you might be physically hugging them, but your energy contracts inside. So you’re not actually connecting.

Annita Keane [00:19:55]:
Right? When you step back from someone, what happens to you? You can very easily see What your separation Yes. Tendency is by just physically hugging someone. If You have to hug someone heart to heart for a meeting. I think it’s about 30 Keane, and you start feeling the connection, Stepping in, a love connection. And when you step back, do you contract? Do you stay expanded? Are you still with them? Are you you know, it’s a me it’s it’s an experiment for us. We have learned such an an enmeshed tribal. If you don’t do this if you do this, there’s repercussions. If you don’t do that, there’s repercussions.

Annita Keane [00:20:37]:
You have to do it this way because this is how you put in the tribe. So when we feel genuine love with people, it can scare the shit out of us for for want to be. It can really scare us, and that’s normal.

Juliette Stapleton [00:20:51]:
Yes. I know. Not easy, but but it’s it’s really it’s really is a special thing. Actually, while you were talking, I know that we we Kinda jumped into the romantic relationship simply because that’s what caused this whole thing. But I always make a connection because I know a lot of people who are listening. This is not we’re not relationships coaches who are active coaches. Right? We are talking about visibility, money, prosperity. So how does this apply to business and marketing? And the truth is that that we develop very similar relationships with our clients, With our potential clients, we do get really connected, especially on Zoom calls.

Juliette Stapleton [00:21:30]:
I don’t know about you, Anita, but I know I Inter I I connect energetically so deeply with people on the calls that when I am, with, manifesting generator generator type, Especially pure generator type I find that that this energy is it lingers. It stays with me. The cord is so strong. If if obviously, if I really like the person, then it’s one thing. But when you I mean, I’m not talking about clients, but when you are when you’re with someone who can be a bit heavy And then you take that home. Mhmm. That takes over your life. That takes over your there for me, I had a client who was a pure generator who wasn’t a perfect client.

Juliette Stapleton [00:22:12]:
You know? Lovely person, but just not a perfect correct client or person for me. And I had to Cancel everything. If I had a call with this client, I had I had to keep my day open, which means no extra income because you Can’t take energetically anyone. You can’t talk to anyone. You’re cooked at the end of that because you’re taking this home. So you mentioned something. You mentioned, something about cutting cords. Do you have any practical tips or something how to do that? Because, what happens is that we we talk a lot about cutting course, but how we’re not just explaining.

Juliette Stapleton [00:22:45]:
I really would love to have this. These are the the greatest tools to have simple techniques.

Annita Keane [00:22:51]:
It really is. It’s just really cool because you can be just as attached. Like, we have relationships with everything, so you can be just as attached to a place or to money or to a job As you can be to a person, right, it’s how are you I think the key is how are you designed to connect with someone And how are you designed to step back into your space?

Juliette Stapleton [00:23:13]:
Yes. How

Annita Keane [00:23:14]:
do you do it without dragging all their energy with you? Now when we say push pull energetically, we’re Actually, energetically pushing someone away. You’ll know it with the manifestor. Yeah. Example. When you tell them what to do, they hate it. So, you know, you tell them you feel immediate resistance. Right? But when the the the there’s beautiful exercises that I use, especially as a projector, because it’s so easy to jump in, is the cord cutting. If when you put your feet on the ground, you can literally take a few deep breaths into your belly.

Annita Keane [00:23:48]:
And just literally, literally say very simply I’m sending all their energy back to them with love under grace, and I’m re reclaiming all my energy. And click your fingers. You’re intentionally saying off you go, good luck, see you next week, and and intentionally stepping back into your own space. It’s a beautiful like, sometimes I use the angels because it can be difficult. You know, as you said, the the 2 and the 5 line profile Keane set up a karmic connection with people that can be very sticky. When I say sticky, emotionally emotionally driven rather than the natural connection. So sometimes I use the angels to or archangel Michael to say, let help me cut the cords here because I’m fighting it difficult to step Keane help me to step back in a way that I’m not terrified that I don’t go into all my anxieties about reconnecting again, You know? So we’re literally consciously instructing our mind to say, it’s okay. There’s no bear, And we don’t have to be in fear when we’re not with someone.

Annita Keane [00:24:57]:
You know? And we can learn, relearn, learn how to, be with someone and not get lost with someone. So it’s very simple. Even leaving a place when I leave Glen Bay, I love it. It’s my favorite place on the Annita. And I I actually caught the cords on. I actually say goodbye. You know, a lot of people say, oh, I don’t say goodbye. I always say au revoir or good luck or, What happens is we’re not completing them.

Annita Keane [00:25:25]:
So we’re dragging all this energy with us. We’re dragging it around, and that’s the weight. Wanting to fix someone is the weight. Wanting to be with someone is the weight that connects us to them. So when we can just Just hand it back. I’m giving back all of my energy back to those who who have drawn from me, and I take back mine. It’s just it’s just magical. Like, you can even feel the energy of that.

Annita Keane [00:25:50]:
It’s very gentle, very simple way. But what we’re also doing is saying to the body, You can can’t, it’s not the end of the world, but I’m walking away now because what can happen, as you know, with With any relationship, even with work, I can’t leave because.

Juliette Stapleton [00:26:09]:
Oh, yes. Oh, with your business, running your business, you know, Checking out so check checking social media all the time. This Keane of type of overfixation still have to do with people. It still have to do with others. You know? And or, I had when when my personal relationships was at you know, it’s steady. I was married and, you know, there was love and everything. I didn’t need to worry about it. It was always people I worked for.

Juliette Stapleton [00:26:31]:
It was always my boss. There was always drama and anxiety and all these things because you can’t come home And just detach from work and rest and recharge. And yet I know personally people who like, say, a lot of people generator types now, They can take time off. They can block things off. They can just zombie it out as some of them say. And After that, they get back to okay, and then they got get back to normal. Whereas for me, it’s it’s either you know, it’s black and white. You Cut and you run and you never see them again, maybe in 20, 30 years, I will recover.

Juliette Stapleton [00:27:08]:
And that’s the experience I had. I had people I was hooked up For 20, 30 years, they were still at the back, and the only way is never to see them again. But that’s not doable, guys. That’s not that’s not the truth. And, actually, I have used exercises, for cutting the cords. Here’s my, if I may share. When you’re hooked up on someone that is a really, really strong connection like this, it requires a lot of deep inner work. You have to understand why you’re hooked up.

Juliette Stapleton [00:27:34]:
You have to understand it could be Because of your energetic court, it could be that energetic court is also, connected To the way your brain works, this is where for me to realize that there might be a possibility that I have ADHD. It was an eye opening, life changing experience. I do not need Anyone to come in and say yes, you have, or no, you don’t. Because I know that I do. And the way it shows is that there’s such an fixation on someone That this is the only way to get a certain feeling, the the the being with that person or or or connecting to that person or talking, I don’t know. In any way. So it’s a very specific drug. Yeah? And so your brain gets hooked up on that.

Juliette Stapleton [00:28:16]:
So understanding that is very important. But with the smaller what what what happens with the and I did what you suggested and successfully, actually. And the reason why I started saying that, you know, deeper work is required because you Annita try something like this and it doesn’t work, and you’re like, ah, it doesn’t It does. It does. But it’s like a muscle. If you have never done it and you don’t believe in it, if you so believe is an intention. If you don’t actually intend when you are cutting wood or any tool you want, any technique, Annita is only one off. You can Google Many, many other ways.

Juliette Stapleton [00:28:49]:
Right? There’s so many other ways, whichever appeals to you is the right way for you, but you have to practice Like with everything. Right? It’s like in human Design. You have to practice following your, strategy and authority. Sometimes you will, sometimes you won’t. Even over the years, You know, you’ll never be perfect. Humans are not perfect. You have to practice. Sometimes it’s better, sometimes it’s worse.

Juliette Stapleton [00:29:09]:
But when you do it, first of all, you will find your grounding When you practice this, you will know that, okay. You know, we’re separating either it’s a you know, the client then does your head in or or takes you energetically, Takes over you. A person that maybe love relationships, anything, start doing it and don’t expect miracles straight away. That’s such Key and this is my heartfelt advice, you know, because when you start practicing it after a few times, you will start noticing that this is making a difference. It might not make a difference from the 1st time. I I felt so I just felt compelled now to say it. Because these kind of things, you know, sometimes we try and, You know, the lightning bolt didn’t strike and so it doesn’t work, but it really is powerful. It really is powerful to send the energy back To, found grounding within yourself, whichever way you come to that, that has to be the goal.

Juliette Stapleton [00:30:04]:
Trust me. When you set yourself a goal to discover how you can ground yourself, The information, the techniques, the methods will come into your life pretty quickly. Like, we manifest so quickly the moment we Start really, truly intending to get somewhere. Right?

Annita Keane [00:30:19]:
Yeah.

Juliette Stapleton [00:30:19]:
And I thought that I think that this is really important. And You know, the other in our life is important. It we cannot exist without the other in our lives. That’s how we are designed to operate. It’s through the other everything happens. But a generator doesn’t need the other. They are lovely. They’re group creatures.

Juliette Stapleton [00:30:50]:
They, of course, they, you know, they they they are creators. They need to mate. They need to create. So, yeah, they’re this Keane, like, You know, constantly dividing cell creature, but they can be on their own. They can be happy on their own. Complete contentment, Which I with all the resting the projectors need to do, it’s never complete contentment for me personally unless I’m with the correct person. One zero one.

Annita Keane [00:31:19]:
That’s a very good point, and and I want to pull out there something that you said about the fixation. Remember, we interact. I remember watching a podcast with you and Robin Wynn. We interact via our profile all the time with that. We consistently do that. What I keep saying to saying to people is that when you’re in fear, focus becomes fixation. When you’re in physiological fear, focus becomes fixation. The other side of fixation is zoning out altogether.

Annita Keane [00:31:51]:
Right? But the middle ground, when we’re in balance, our superpower, which is focus, becomes our superpower. We can focus on something instead of being attached to it. So when we’re in fear, which is emotion driven, right, amygdala driven, Now we’re fixated. Really fixated because we’re fighting with someone or because we’re you know? So that’s one thing that we need to remember that this is within our control too. You know, that we can say, oh, I’m fixated. I need to back off. Because I know people, and I’ve been there myself, who even with work, Even the thought of stepping back from my desk and going out and doing something fun, Keane I used to find it actually hard to do Yes? We used stress as our main motivator. So if I’m not working, I’m like, oh my god.

Annita Keane [00:32:37]:
What do I do? I’m not. You see people who retire that lose it because they don’t know who they are without the the other. And this is where human design really comes in. We do know know who we are with the other. We can choose our relationships now. We don’t have to bump into them. We can Choose them with some very dim intentional as you said. Right? The other thing that I would say is with the generators, they Need someone to bring their energy to the throat also.

Annita Keane [00:33:07]:
You know? Manifesting generators have a little bit. Sometimes the and this is why the projector generator relationship can be so powerful because it’s a beautiful symbiosis of 2 types that I have the ideas, says the projector, and I have the energy, says the generator. And, you know, let’s share. It can be just a Superb interaction, and you’re and you’re right. I just wanted to make that clear because sometimes we act in relationships that The the the the fear with the relationship is that if I don’t have the other, I’m nothing. And I just wanna point out that that’s not the case. We are we’re amazing human beings in our own right. And when we chill out about it, we start to meet People.

Annita Keane [00:33:55]:
So great example just to, have

Juliette Stapleton [00:33:58]:
It’s it’s very it’s very it’s very good. One thing you you just said there about, you know, that we’re bringing energy Throat guys, some generators do have defined throat centers. You know? Like, I I am dating 1. But there might there might be energy split. You know? So the it’s not like a single split. Right? And the energy is not coming from the motor center. That’s what makes them, generators are not manifesting generators. So so yes.

Juliette Stapleton [00:34:22]:
But what I find as well with with especially with projector and generator connection, there is a lot of complimentary Three energy, but there’s this guidance that just shows. The projector can see if the generator is open to them. The projector can see within. And and, you know, the the actual interaction with the correct people is fantastic, and I think that this is why it’s so difficult as well. You know, it’s like addiction. You you see so clearly in the other. The generator doesn’t need to speak because their body does the speaking. They just have to sigh or just mumble something or, you know, just grunts and And you’re like, okay.

Juliette Stapleton [00:34:59]:
Your body just told me everything I need to know. You know? So you validated everything I need to know. But the moment you leave, This connection that I have, like, I am now have no other to see into. And, yes, you’re right, but I really love it. And I think I already And when talking about this, but the the whole fear, understanding what specific angle of fear you have, human design profile lines, Personality profile lines, look into the shadows, look where it’s in the not self, that will give you so many, you know, clues. The way I, You know, the way I tweet personally use that, you know, to ground myself is that I I try and find okay. So what’s going on here? Why am I feeling this fear? Because what what you Anita said, it’s exactly the truth. The body doesn’t know you don’t have an immediate Threat like an, you know, angry bear in front of you.

Juliette Stapleton [00:35:51]:
The the the brain is actually stupid enough not to make a difference between Some hypothetical thought and the real danger. It it makes your body react exactly the same. So you’re going into spasms. You’re going into, you know, feeling out of breath, and and it’s insane. And and then you think, where does this come from? So you are, again, coming back Relying on your thoughts, and thoughts are liars. Thoughts are liars. I have a and I have a chapter in my book Called, cockroaches in your head, a common Russian saying. This is very common.

Juliette Stapleton [00:36:28]:
This you know, what what they call annoying, Negative thoughts. You know, I think doctor Human, Daniel Raman in his book, Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, he called talks about, annoying negative thoughts. When I read that chapter and I already published my book by then, I was like, my god. This is it. This is it. We have these things, but these are the thoughts. We are the awareness behind we have to have the awareness behind the thoughts. The thoughts is your mind.

Juliette Stapleton [00:36:54]:
And in human design, it’s very simple how It’s explained. So our mind gets hooked up on the conditioning, fixated on our condition on our shadows, And then tries to explain it some logical way and sabotage us instead of for us to be in our bodies and to, You know, operate with a natural way. The mind is there and it’s loud and it takes over. And so this whole process of deconditioning is It’s in a way process of being aware aware that your thoughts are liars. Your thoughts are not you. Your thoughts are not self. You cannot trust them. One of the exercises that I have found and I I am doing now, guys, every time I have Annita, if I wake up with anxiety, tea.

Juliette Stapleton [00:37:35]:
And there’s a lot of it as I mentioned, you know, because I feel like a teenager. There’s no clue, in relationships. But I do that with clients. I do that with Keane. Now I literally, I bought myself a completely new copy book, and I write down my negative thoughts, and then I evaluate them. I I evaluate them on 2 levels, and this is very effective. One level is that I ask myself, I do the, Katie Barron Oh, Baron Katie exercise where I say, is this truth? Is this the ultimate truth? What would you be if these thoughts or if this wasn’t there? And what what does it make you? You know, this asking these questions. Now I’m not I’m not a follower, and I don’t do it religiously.

Juliette Stapleton [00:38:15]:
I probably do my own version of it. You know? I might have Send the questions wrong, but this helped helped me because what literally you’re doing is you are questioning if the validity of your thought. But, also, you can Say you’re worried, you know, there’s will this client sign up and your brain is like, no. Because of this or they, you know, they they don’t appreciate you. They don’t. Or, you know, with with your, loved one, why are they not reaching out? You know? What’s happening? Writing down all these Theories that the brain is feeding you in this copy and then listening to your authority. I know not every one of us, your mental projector, maybe that’s not going to really work for you. But but for me as a splenic projector, it really does work.

Juliette Stapleton [00:38:57]:
For a generator, it really would work. You know? Write this down And and see what your authority says when you’re looking at this every one of them. And I my authority, my Keane always says a very quiet yes On those things that are usually very like, no. He’s just asleep. Went to bed early, Keane that’s why I didn’t message. You know, this is the kind of stuff, But the brain the brain will give you all the ideas and very self defeating, like, you know, there’s no respect for you. You know? There’s no love. Always these things.

Juliette Stapleton [00:39:29]:
So this this writing down your negative thoughts, sometimes we’re afraid what’s gonna come out. But it’s a really great exercise because you’re taking that out of your mind and you’re making it tangible, and tangible you can address. You can then You know, in a way, it’s like, from from a from a big imaginary dragon, it just turns into some sort of little bug that you can easily if you wanted to. I I know it was a cruel example, but let’s just let’s just pretend that it wasn’t cruel at all because you have to get rid of that thought. Right? If it’s a nun or a cockroach, you know Yeah. Yeah. No.

Annita Keane [00:40:04]:
Exactly. Well, that’s that’s part of That’s part of what I that’s a great exercise, by the way, and writing it down. Or if you are a mental projector, speak to someone. If you need to find out an answer, Speak to someone and ask them to speak it you know, reflect it back to you. Because sometimes the story in our head is way bigger

Juliette Stapleton [00:40:22]:
Then the Oh, it’s always sweet beer. That’s what we need to remember. 2 one more thing I want to add. Think about so If you’re a triple split, you’re a trip triple split, Anita, it will be even harder for you. So it’s not like, splits are not all the same. You know, the way we are connecting is not all the same. So I’m a small split or sync or basic split, what they call it. So I would be hooked up on 1 other Okay.

Juliette Stapleton [00:40:47]:
It’s very 1 on 1. You know, with the triple split, there is more. It’s not necessarily this Keane like a duality involved. You know? There is more To it. You know? You need to split all the, you need to bridge all the splits, and then this this energy will flow Better. And, you know, and and especially if you’re with someone who maybe you have the single definition, then the clarity will come. It will become so much clear instantly. I see that in action because, you know, I have I have a friend who is a triple split.

Juliette Stapleton [00:41:18]:
When we’re together, The clarity in his mind, it’s like everything is clear and easy. Mhmm. The moment we’re separate, everything is overthinking again.

Annita Keane [00:41:29]:
Exactly. That’s that’s really great to add because the open Human Anachna overthinks because it wants to be certain. The divine head Anachna is going all the time anyway. So I have some fab fab exercises that I had to learn because with the defined head and Asana, We learn we’re designed to be certain, but what I’ve found is that if what I’ve learned To be certain about isn’t true for me, it can still snag up my energy. Right? So the first thing, you know, just to know that your mind works Regardless of type, your mind will process information in its own unique way based on the gates that are activated, whether it’s defined, whether it’s open. And so knowing that you can now kind of say, oh, when I’m fixated on something, it’s for really good reason. It’s because I’m trying to grasp for an answer or, you know, I know what I do when I’m out of balance or when I’m in fear. So that what I’ve said to people now is hang on a second.

Annita Keane [00:42:32]:
To find out Annita, ask the question, is that even true, as you just said? With the open Human, Anashna, I would say the question is, is that even one? Yes. I agree. Someone else is told that you’re processing and that it’s snagging up your system, and that’s how the energies get funny And, in or whatever. And what I started doing recently, which is really interesting, is I Found that I’ve been drawn, and you’ll be drawn to the different techniques that are perfect for you. So when after listening to this, you’ll say, I wonder what would be the best way for me to calm my thoughts. And you’ll find either you’ll hear it here Or you’ll Google Internet and suddenly it’ll show up for you or someone will ring you and say, you know, it’ll start the ball rolling for that perfect system to come to you, but I use I’ve started using the wonder method, which is to was derived by Alan Harriot, which is literally just sitting back and just going, okay. I’m overthinking again. I know I’m overthinking.

Annita Keane [00:43:38]:
Right? So sit back, taking a few breaths, and just Going asking the question, I wonder what this energy in my body might be about without needing to know Keane I’m taking off trying to put Annita need meaning on it. I’m taking off the pressure of needing to fix, Needing to find meaning, needing to work it out, figure it out. I the story that’s keeping me snagged because remember, it’s what I’m thinking about is creating this Confusion in my body. So I wonder if I just dropped a story, if I just literally mentally, emotionally, and energetically dropped it on the ground and said okay, And let acknowledge the emotion that you’re feeling. It’s or acknowledge the sensations in your body because what can happen is The story is actually keeping it in place.

Juliette Stapleton [00:44:33]:
That’s true.

Annita Keane [00:44:34]:
The mind is keeping it in place. So when you step back and go, I wonder what this is about without needing to know the answer, You’re acknowledging these feelings instead of fighting them, resisting them, trying to get rid of them. You’re so the more we try to do that, The more we resist, the more we resist. The more we try to stop something, the more we the more it persists.

Juliette Stapleton [00:44:53]:
So it’s Oh, that’s true. That is true. Yeah. Because you’re pushing. You’re pushing. You’re, like, holding that door. You know, like in games of thrones, you’re holding the door. You’re not actually, addressing the issue.

Juliette Stapleton [00:45:04]:
You’re not, You know, all you’re doing is you’re exerting effort in order to push it away, and that can just lead you to burnout. And and, yes, just sitting with it is is such a much better much better way for me journaling, talking at I think projectors actually, let’s just bring it back into, like, a human design type. In my observation, all projectors, not just mental projectors, benefit with processing things out loud, talking out loud. It definitely makes a lot of clarity when I don’t have anyone to talk at. I I journal, but, really, I was just saying To my daughter this morning, bring on 2040 or whenever it is because I want to be retired with my own robot. I will talk at it, and it doesn’t you know, it can smile and say pleasantries is back and whatever. You know? I just want to have this is my idea for my retirement because somebody has to listen for me to me to for Someone has to listen to me so I process things because I have to talk about 1 thing about 10 times in order for my brain to process it. It could be It could have to do with my basic split because we are guys bit slower.

Juliette Stapleton [00:46:08]:
We’re bit slower to get things or maybe it’s a third line that needs Multiple times to go through the pain to get, you know, to know how not to feel the pain.

Annita Keane [00:46:19]:
Yeah. That’s a really good point because with this split, I have a triple split as you know, so my head and adrenal are defined. My g center to throat is defined, and my will, solar plexus, and root is defined. I I like to talk it out. I like to feel it out, and I like to act it out. I have 3 different things going, so you can imagine that can be a problem because if head is going one way, heart just going another but with the split what I found is it takes us longer because we naturally intuit that there’s the dots aren’t joining up It’s not complete. There’s something missing there that we feel. So when we’re in balance, we’re super at looking at something and going, oh, that doesn’t add up.

Annita Keane [00:47:01]:
Let’s just Connect here. Connect the dots. When we’re out of balance, we feel that, oh my god. There’s something missing. It must be me. The other person is going to fill it for me. Oh my god. What am I going to do? I’m not enough.

Annita Keane [00:47:15]:
I need to do something more to be liked or Whether, you know, whether whatever type you are, if you have a split, that’s how you’ll feel when you’re anxious or in fear, or stressed. And What’s happened is we’ve kind of no more let them with the thoughts we’ve made them true. With those feelings, we’ve made them true also. Oh, I feel this way. It must be true. I Keane hear no. No. It’s This is true.

Annita Keane [00:47:39]:
Generating generating those sensations in your body again. That’s all. No more meaning. No more meaning. That’s why the wonder method can be so cool. So but, you know, it’s just but you’re right. It’s like learning. Stop diving down the rabbit hole of how it feels.

Annita Keane [00:47:56]:
Be it drives me nuts, actually. I used to I did train to be a therapist. And, please, therapy is fantastic because There’s definitely that talk aspect required, so I want to make sure that I’m not negating it. I find it I found it fabulous, but I also and I also found that how does this feel is very confusing to an open solar plexus person because that’s Might not be their emotion. They’re looking people search for emotions instead of, oh, my heart is closed, or My heart is easing up, or I’m feeling this stabbing pain in my liver area. You know? It’s really so how does this feel? 50 Percent of the population can’t respond to that.

Juliette Stapleton [00:48:36]:
I have a completely open emotional center. And,

Annita Keane [00:48:40]:
I have no Does that?

Juliette Stapleton [00:48:42]:
Emotions are aliens even on the days when there’s transit. And because I have a 35, so the 36 gets activated on the solar plexus, and then I go to through this, You know, the this collective wave, like, expectations, expectations, crash. Expectations, crash. And it’s it’s Really doing my head in because I honestly have to say, I do not understand emotions. And emotions like thoughts are liars Because it all depends it’s a wave. You know? It’s like it’s not real feeling. So when we’re talking about feelings, we have So, like, separate. So emotions is this is something that you experience.

Juliette Stapleton [00:49:15]:
When we’re talking about feelings as well, how it feels in your body is one Feeling definition of feelings. Right? But also like a feeling for another person where there is connection and and this is a different thing. We mix all this into we jumble all this together, and then we get really confused about what’s what. And to really understand that emotions, this is probably something that brought me into watching transits every day. I’m not, you know, obsessed with with that. I’m doing it. Again, this is a vitamin versus pain killer. This is my pain.

Juliette Stapleton [00:49:46]:
I am going to see what transit is bringing because I’m in pain. I feel moody. I feel And this is an alien for an nonemotional creature like me. It’s a kinda alien energy, but it takes over me because I have An open center, so it’s like a sponge. It takes it all in. You know? So how can, how can it be more of a filter? I interviewed once El Shany Wood on my, Visibility by Design podcast, and she’s a manifesto. She was talking she’s an emotional manifesto, and she was talking about this. Be a filter, not a sponge.

Juliette Stapleton [00:50:21]:
But you are we we end up being sponges, you know, emotionally, if you’re open. We end up being sponges. And here, if you Don’t have certainty or, you know, inspiration. Everything comes out and just gets stuck there. You know? And we we buy into it.

Annita Keane [00:50:35]:
Yeah. That’s really true. And the same principle will work with the emotions as it does with the mind. Is that my thought? The open emotion is Is that my is that my emotion? Is that even mine? Because we a filter, not a sponge. I’ve heard that, and they’re yeah. That sounds fab, like but how do you do it? Yes. You know, being you could also say with like we said earlier, I’m giving back all these emotions back to that person because the emotional Open person is very balanced when when someone is having a a conniption or a blowout. The emotional person or the non the person who’s open emotionally can be really stable and supportive there.

Annita Keane [00:51:18]:
When they know the emotion isn’t theirs, it’s very easy. To me, I see the open emotion as the potential, Rock in the storm. You know? The the the rest not even the rescuer. That’s but they can be the The eye of the needle or the eye of the storm where they kinda say, yeah. I see that. I acknowledge that you’re really upset about this. Be upset, you know, without taking it personally, without needing. That’s how we can filter and not absorb it, right, not take it in.

Annita Keane [00:51:53]:
We’ve been so used to, oh, I need to carry this. This started when we were kids, by the way, in relationships. If our parents were upset or angry, We would try to take the energy to try to make them feel better. The kids only want the parents to feel better, but then what do we do with that? You know? I think

Juliette Stapleton [00:52:10]:
one one important thing is and Thing is and and and, again, this brings to everybody every we are also resorting a lot to black and white thinking. You know? So it’s not that You can be in with somebody who is an emotional and or affected by emotions. And you, you can’t sometimes not take it in immediately. You know? So not saying it’s that it’s never going to happen or how do you train yourself that you just don’t no. You will, but To recognize that you’re doing this. This is it’s all about awareness. So when the moment you recognize, even if you initially reacted, that’s also okay. You know, we’re humans.

Juliette Stapleton [00:52:47]:
You can you can pull back. You can correct. I think this whole thing and then this is perfectionism, guys, at its core. You know? We’re like, oh my god. If I reacted, Then that’s it. You know? I am now affected. And and then you are on that rollercoast. You know, I don’t like rollercoasters.

Juliette Stapleton [00:53:02]:
I do not like them. But it gives me this impression as if, you know, the moment you kinda gave up and then you’re, like, in that garden guard card goes down, you have no control, But you have the chance to get out. That was a stop there where you could get out. And so, okay, I’m just gonna watch you guys doing your staff there, and I’m thinking you crazy. Don’t wanna be that, but I’ll be there waving at you in support. You know? And that’s what you want if you have this Disability.

Annita Keane [00:53:30]:
Yeah. And it’s something that you can train to do. I notice myself with open emotion and defined emotion. To find emotion actually have quite a solid way of processing their emotions. And once you know what that is, like, it’s very empowering because you can say, I’m just on a low on my waiver. Oh, that person has broken an agreement. Yes. I’m flipping.

Annita Keane [00:53:50]:
That’s what I do. Right? But with the open emotion as well, you have A process of shifting emotions. And when you don’t know what that is, it can be really it can be really devastating to a relationship because That’s true. The the what happens when I notice with the open emotion, because I have a couple of them here in my house, is that they might pick up energy, the emotional energy from work. And they come to me, and they innately know it’s not their emotion, so they’re trying to dump it somewhere. So they potentially tried to poke me into an argument so that I can process the emotion for them. As opposed to recognizing, as you said, it’s not that you won’t ever feel emotions. Of course, we’ll feel emotions.

Annita Keane [00:54:29]:
But it’s that When you know that, you can actually say, hang on. Is this emotion even mine okay? I don’t want to tarnish you know, I don’t want to upset my relationship With someone else’s crap, basically. So I need to learn a way of releasing that so that I can, step back into Very, very brilliant example of this is stress and work. Stress is fear and anger driven. Fear and anger are the emotions around stress, Fight or flight, and you bring it home, and, suddenly, everything at home also looks like a threat. So you’re giving out to people, and you’re setting up an environment That is toxic in your home. That if you only knew and understood that, actually, I’m just stressed. I need to use my con my trip from home or from work to home to deregulate or clear these emotions So that I’m not bringing this home with me.

Annita Keane [00:55:25]:
It’s really

Juliette Stapleton [00:55:26]:
Is there any tools or techniques? Because I love I love that we’re saying this, but I just want to give our listeners and viewers, Like, practicals. Do you know of any tools? Because, again, we’re like, okay. I need to do that, but how I don’t know? And then it goes into one ear, comes out of the other. So we need them the pain killer report.

Annita Keane [00:55:43]:
The pain killer for this one is brilliant. I I call it, it’s emotional freedom technique. It’s tapping. It’s like acupuncture without the needles. It gets to the pressure points that allow you to release emotional energy For the day. So so literally, you could even just start tapping here. There’s a number tapping. Google it like it’s everywhere.

Annita Keane [00:56:02]:
It’s all over the Internet. So you can just start tapping and literally talking about the the problem or the thing the issue that happened in work that you’re emotional about or the person that was emotional. They came to you. They walked out the door feeling fantastic, and you’re suddenly sitting there worried about their situation. Right. That’s how you know that, how you know you’ve picked it up. So you just tap all this energy, all this emotional energy that I’ve picked up today. I completely profoundly accept myself as I release it now, and you feel the energy going away.

Annita Keane [00:56:35]:
You just feel it shifting. And if you don’t, go find someone who can help you with it. You know?

Juliette Stapleton [00:56:41]:
Actually, yes. I was just going to say, I am a one person that a lot of people in my life are people who are into tapping. Lot of very close people, lot of guides that I follow, a lot of people who help me even energetically. Everybody is into tapping. I can’t tap. It’s not my thing. And I already gave up now trying because I just know it just doesn’t call me. But I’ve discovered that there’s some visual, Guide like, guided meditations, visualizations with breathing, usually breathing involved, And then some sort of visualization that somehow is so much more powerful, and they calm me down, and they allow me to, have even small ones.

Juliette Stapleton [00:57:20]:
Sometimes, you know, you you can have a longer one if you really need a total reset or you can have a shorter ones. I follow Elizabeth Perou. She is a cosmic guide based in Australia. Absolutely amazing. I I I believe she’s my cosmic guide on Earth really. For the last 10 years, I follow her daily tip-off, and she has a huge library of visualizations, meditations that she guides you through. She is she has a lot of stuff on Facebook. I am now like being like Elizabeth, but I need to show her this, you know, the video and tell her, hey, Elizabeth.

Juliette Stapleton [00:57:53]:
Do something for me there. No. Actually, no. She’s already have done a lot. But what I’m saying is that you can find. Like, I found my Thing that works. A person who gives me or or maybe, like, a library or certain tool that works for me. So when I am in that pain, there’s a couple of things that I already do even without listening to a meditation, because sometimes, you know, like, you just need to remember these things.

Juliette Stapleton [00:58:16]:
There there might be things that you don’t need to speak. There might be things that you can do very discreetly because, you know, even tapping can be you know, we we all So conscious about what’s going on in our environment. So you have to find what works for you, but there are things that you can that work for you. And so I just mentioned to Elizabeth Perot, Go to her Facebook page. She does a lot of videos, when she talks about, you know, the cosmic energies. If her voice appeals to you, Please please go and check out her meditations. She’s absolutely brilliant. You know? So that’s something that works for me as long as as well as the journaling and taking things out of of my head, you know, and grounding.

Annita Keane [00:58:54]:
Yeah. That’s a really good point. I remember running a stress management program for Corporate at one point, and it had to be quick, easy solutions that were so simple, done in minutes, and, Yeah. It’s understanding different people’s learning styles. You’ll find the one for you. I did a mind. I did body. I did Emotion.

Annita Keane [00:59:14]:
I did energy. And, you know, it’s all all part of it. But one of the key things that I think is important to mention here is That the more you look after yourself and manage your inner, your balance, your health, your well-being, your, I I have a daily practice to do this. The more you do that and know what your baseline is, The much easier it is to determine what’s coming coming at you, to you, for you with relationships So that you can much more easily discern. It’s when you’re all cluttered up yourself and your fears and your anxieties that you can’t tell your, I don’t we would say in Ireland, your arse from your elbow, but, you know, you you can’t tell your you you you don’t know which end is up. So when you start Taking responsibility for for a daily habitual pattern that allows you to stay balanced, you really Keane really be quickly tuned in. Oh, That’s not mine. Oh, that is.

Annita Keane [01:00:15]:
And you start playing with your relationships, playing with life instead of being a victim of life.

Juliette Stapleton [01:00:21]:
I I love this. And, you know, we’re recording this. 2024 just started. 2024 is number 8 in numerology. It’s the 8th universal year, and it’s an energy of balance. It’s also an energy of success and entrepreneurship, but only if you stay in balance. And what is it to stay in balance? It’s not to overdo. So when you are, you know, over fixated on someone, whether it’s work, whether it’s relation personal relationships, whether it’s clients, whether it’s How much engagement did your post get? Whether it’s you know, you’ll you have this launch that’s coming up.

Juliette Stapleton [01:00:51]:
It’s always involves other people. That’s why your anxiety is so High up. The moment you are too thick too too hyperfixated on that, you’re out of balance. Yeah. You have to balance. And, also, you know, it it involves more than just that. You have to make sure that you physically. Have you eaten well? One of the things that I noticed where my projector fixation on the other suffers more is when my wellness is compromised.

Juliette Stapleton [01:01:17]:
When I’m so, you know, in my zone that I forgot to regularly eat that day and I only ate once, and the next day, I’m gonna I’m going to suffer. Same with my daughter. You know? We noticed this pattern. You know? The next day, I’m gonna suffer because my anxiety will kick in double. You know? My body is now running on fumes. So, Exercising. Are you physically active? Are you looking after the this this other side? You know? So you maybe are working on your emotions, releasing all that, but you aren’t forgetting that there’s Also physical. So the balance is so important, and and I find and maybe it’s because my my life’s number is 8 as well.

Juliette Stapleton [01:01:51]:
So this is kinda applies to my Life generally, and I see that. I see that. And I go into extremes. But the moment you go out of balance, you’re going really out of balance. It’s not like a Tiny little thing. You’re literally there grabbing on, you know, to stay on that for your life or you’re dead. And that’s what happens, and you just don’t want this is a painful Area. This is where you the only person that will hurt will be you.

Juliette Stapleton [01:02:15]:
One thing that you mentioned, and I think that maybe that’s what we should wrap This episode upon is the point of neutrality. The point of neutrality, you said baseline. Find your baseline. Find where where are you neutral? Because What I find is that we are all geared and maybe it’s a conditioning of some form. We’re geared to be aligned in quote marks, It’s like aligned. Right? And we feel like alignment is some sort of, ecstasy. It’s some sort of, like, I am super happy right now. I am all this, but But that’s not what alignment really is.

Juliette Stapleton [01:02:50]:
I think the alignment is actually the point of neutrality. This word keeps coming Into my life ever since my husband was sick last year and and we you know, my daughter always said to me, mom, neutral. No, like, Extreme sadness and this is the end or, oh my god, there’s still hope. You have to that’s the only way to approach it. That’s the alignment. Because then from that point of neutrality, you get clarity. And from the point of clarity, then everything is much more in your control. You are then becoming a filter, not a sponge.

Juliette Stapleton [01:03:20]:
You are then able to say, okay. Hang on a second. This is not mine. If you’re not in a neutral position, you do not know, see, or can even get whether the question is yours, whether the emotion is yours. You just can’t. You’re too involved. You’re too invested. You know? So this is where I find and then You don’t attach meanings when you are neutral.

Juliette Stapleton [01:03:43]:
You don’t attach meanings because you know what? Not everything means anything. Not anything not everything means Anything at all, in fact. But we wanted to to mean something. So when you train yourself and, again, it’s a muscle, and you will suck at it in the beginning, and it’s gonna be very difficult, and you will constantly try and attach meanings. But if you Keane if you intentionally practice this, Over time, it becomes easier to go back to that baseline, which really is the point of neutrality. And from that point, it’s much easier to cut that cord. And even as a projector who always always needs to be connected to that other person, you know, or some specific people, When you’re neutral, then your balance. And last time when we recorded, we were used to the, analogy with a cat.

Juliette Stapleton [01:04:29]:
You know? You get back to your catness. You know? Projector’s a cat. Cats. And that that’s that’s where that’s what cats are. They’re kinda like they’re neutral. They’re like, I’m not engaging in this drama. Well, sometimes they do, and then they go back. They go back.

Juliette Stapleton [01:04:43]:
And when when they do, they lose their dignity. You can see it. You know? They turn into some crazy creatures, But it’s not where that’s not where the main Katniss is. Right? So and I think that this this was very, very important for us. No matter what you what you are. Actually, there’s something else comes in when I started, introducing this episode. And I said, tune in if you’re not projector because it’s not just about a projector. And I was right.

Juliette Stapleton [01:05:06]:
We were talking about a lot of things that maybe are not necessarily human design related. So maybe you didn’t learn something, like, we didn’t teach you. Although I think we said so many we we made so many connections with human design. But it’s also to understand if you’re a generator type or a manifest or any any other type node projector, be kind to your projectors guys because This is how we operate. We are meant to lock into others. Our in our relationships, we’ll lock in with others. This is a natural thing. So when we’re talking about Cutting cords and everything.

Juliette Stapleton [01:05:38]:
This is all about gosh. How can I cope with this? This is my life. This is the story of my life. I have very little energy, and all that energy is focused on you. And I have no control over this. It’s not that I’m I can’t just go home and be happy like you were. I can’t. It’s just not going to happen.

Juliette Stapleton [01:05:56]:
This is in my nature to be locked on you, so be kind to me and allow me To then deal with myself, you know, try and cut cut course, journal, whatever I’m doing, but be kind. Don’t blame me for that. Don’t reject me. Don’t project at me Just because I’m like this and don’t get overwhelmed with me. You know? It’s just just happens. I think it’s important, And this is the message for every other type, especially generator types, that when you’re aware how another person is designed, You can be kinder to them. Same with us projectors. When we’re aware the generators can actually retreat, and they need to be alone, and they need to recharge.

Juliette Stapleton [01:06:36]:
And no need there is no need for you to be going there all the time poking at them. In fact, that’s where they’re going to push you away because you’re not giving them a chance to re recharge. When you understand that their their existence is about being satisfied within themselves, then you never will say, oh, you’re selfish. It never will sink even in that direction. You’ll kindly allow them to be, you know, and and This is what I think this is the mission of us creating these conversations is that we can be more compassionate to each other, Whether it’s business, marketing, you know, compassionate to ourselves, of course, in appreciating ourselves, but to each other as well because we’re aware how uniquely we are all designed And how this shows up in the way we are showing up.

Annita Keane [01:07:22]:
Mhmm. Absolutely. I I agree. I think Human design gives us the freedom to know how our energy works so that we can establish needs And stop feeding this stupid relationship ideal in society that is messed up. Let’s face it. There’s more divorces than there are connections. Right? So so so and and our kids are really struggling with relationships. So so remember, when you know how you work, You can express those needs, those non negotiable needs sometimes to others.

Annita Keane [01:07:54]:
And it’s much easier for the other to accept then because we’re dealing with you and me. We’re not dealing with some set of terms and conditions that we should be should be adhering to. We’re dealing with you and me, and and, Oh my god. I I’m just so excited at what this means for relationships moving forward, understanding how your energy works because The energy impacts everything. If you use too much energy, that’s the fixated. When you’re too little, you don’t even think anything. You know, you zone out. And it’s just recognizing there are 2 sides of the same coin, which is focus is great, fixated.

Annita Keane [01:08:32]:
Keane be great if it’s on the right

Juliette Stapleton [01:08:34]:
thing, but if it’s balance.

Annita Keane [01:08:35]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Juliette Stapleton [01:08:36]:
Exactly. Balance. Yeah. You always bring yourself to balance, to that neutral point where you can have a bit of both, and it’s healthy. And and, you know, you’re you can be still invested in in everything, but do it in a healthy way. Don’t over Don’t overdo it. And and always have that you know, this is where, again, knowing who you’re dealing with in human design is incredible. I, joked with my Late husband, I I always said this saved my marriage.

Juliette Stapleton [01:09:04]:
Although it didn’t. We had a great marriage, but, you know, the awareness, it’s a beautiful, beautiful thing. So yes. Guys, thank you so much for, listening to us. I hope you enjoyed it. If you have your experiences, please if if there’s comments below this video, Share with us. So reach out to us. Anita Keane.

Juliette Stapleton [01:09:22]:
She’s a money and prosperity coach. I am Juliet Stapleton and And online visibility strategist, you can see our information here on the screen, or you can, reach us at anitaking.com And julietstapleton.com. Very simple. It’s all very simple. And we will see you in another episode of lighthouse projector series Where hopefully, we will dive in another juicy topic to help you build that awareness and stay in balance. Thank you so much,