Overfixating on others (in marketing & life)
I do not know about you, but this is a seriously dangerous zone for any kind of relationship – marketing included (which at the core is the art of building relationships with others, but in a business setting).
Take it from someone with ADHD who knows what it is to hyperfixate on another to the point of exhaustion. In my case, I have one specific area in my life where this spirals out of control at times. The truth is that the only outcome of this mental process is pain, and the only one who is hurting is the one who hyper fixates in the first place.
So a simple scenario familiar to anyone who is using social media for client attraction. Creating a post and fixating on engagement (or lack of it).
Conducting a launch/campaign for a new program, a sale, an offer (whichever way it is structured) and hyperfixating on sign-ups or lack of those.
Sending information about your program to someone who needs to think about it and hyperfixating on them not getting back to you or communicating where they are at in time.
We have all been there at some point, and for some of us, this would be that exact weak spot where the mental processes and emotional attachment make it almost unbearable and end up in a massive burnout. I have been there, you have been there…
And yet, the only person that ended up hurt in this is you. Not people who did or didn’t take the action you expected them to take. Only YOU.
The topic of NEUTRALITY in dealing with life is so underrated. We are CONDITIONED by our society and families to be invested emotionally in our goals and dreams, but the truth is that not everyone is designed for this kind of approach.
In fact, I believe a vast majority of us are not meant to emotionally attach to anything. When I look into my Human Design, it is obvious in many areas. A completely open Emotional (Solar Plexus) center – meaning the emotions are not a natural experience for me. In fact, I do not understand what they really are and often just get overwhelmed by those I am taking in. I noticed often a transit activates my 35/36 Channel of Transience, which pushes me through a collective emotional wave that builds (expectations) and then crashes suddenly into the lowest of the lows.
The only way to deal with it is with neutrality in my approach. (Hey, easier said than done, I can tell ya!)
Or my environmental style, which is Observer (I am a variables geek) – this means it is not healthy for me to be invested, but rather take a spectator attitude to the movie of life I am experiencing. There are many other elements too.
Somehow, I’ve trained myself in business to quieten my mind and rest in the receiving (feminine) state. This has really worked over the last couple of years.
Having less anxiety about client attraction or delivery, brings such aligned action takers into my world, and in many more quantities than before, yet nothing I cannot easily manage. The only difference for me was taking a more neutral, laid-back approach and focusing on my own needs and values first.
And I found that knowledge and – what is more importantly – applied it to my business and most of my life. Except for one recently renewed area where it has proven that there is still so much to work on.
My point for you today is to practice NEUTRALITY in your life, in your marketing, and in your business. Lean into what is natural for you (this is where Human Design helps determine the correct approach) follow your energy type strategy, decision making authority, TRUST it.
Things will align, and it will be much simpler and easier.
P.S.If you need to discover this, order your personalized Marketing Blueprint By Design™ report – see the bottom of the page
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Juliette Stapleton is a Visibility Strategist for coaches and experts. She teaches how to attract clients online, creating your OWN marketing experience that feels good, easy and aligned with who you are and brings results.
Juliette has been featured in Forbes and several major business and marketing podcasts, like SocialChatter, 365Driven, Rising Tide, iHeart Radio, and Confident Live. She is an active contributor to world-leading online publications, such as Entrepreneur.com Influencive, Addicted2Success, Thrive Global, Good Men Project and many more.
She lives in Tallinn, Estonia.