I want to share something vulnerable… and describe the experience that you may find painfully familiar.

Recently, I have been bitter. The flavor of the bitterness is kind of angry with a dash of disappointment.

I will explain why in a riddle – because I do not want to point fingers at anyone; this is not about calling anyone out…

But there is this someone who I see in my social feed and in my emails that is going off course with their direction, and to me, what they say/offer/sell seems bordering on criminal manipulation of something beautiful as well as misleading those poor followers that seem to be ecstatically happy about it all.

Of course, they are; they are being offered yet another homogenized “shortcut” that essentially is nothing but an illusion, a waste of their time… they just do not know it yet because they are too busy following someone with a shiny cover.

Juliette, STOP!

Here it is – the bitterness.

Yes, usually, I am very good at spotting the bottom line behind the smoke screen, but the underlying frequency of that is very important.

With this specific case the frequency is different. So I had to stop and assess, and as I slowed down, the Universe served me a mirror.

A knockout podcast episode from The Mel Robbins Podcast that literally described what I was feeling. That bitter anger…

And I saw so clearly that the anger was fueled by being angry with myself.

 

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Ever since my second husband, Les, passed away, I have been operating at half-speed in my business.

I had to grieve, and to heal…

I needed to reconnect with who I was.

I learned what did not work for me.

And then – completely unexpectedly – I found true love again. (How do I know? Well, this is “not my first rodeo,” and when the Spleen, which defines my Authority, says yes, it is a YES!)

My story of meeting my third husband, Jim, exactly 11 months to the day from becoming a widow, is a story for yet another book.

Speaking of books, the publishing of my second book – “On Visibility That Sells. Online Visibility Framework For Coaches & Experts: Attraction Marketing With & Beyond Human Design” has been delayed as I am typing this. (It may already be published by the time you are reading this post).

I wrote and edited about 75%, but then came to a complete stall. My personal life demanded more focus and attention. So the release date has been pushed forward, BUT… there is a bigger reason for it.

The Universe sent me more nudges.

It was time to move from the apartment that helped me through my loss, grief, revival, and finding new love.

Everything became wrong with it: too noisy, traffic and construction noises; a yuppy anxious dog and a loud family underneath; another yuppy dog left out on the balcony over our heads.

The level of stress and distraction this caused is hard to describe. Even to me, and I consider myself an emotional “flatliner,” living here has become impossible.

Focusing on writing or recording video became impossible.

Focusing on my business… feels impossible…

The apartment is telling me it is time to grow out of this shell.

Do you know how lobsters grow?

Their soft bodies grow inside a shell until it is too small – their movements become too restricted, their life becomes dangerously slow, and they are exposed to be easy prey.

So, lobsters have to literally break their shell from the inside and be vulnerable for a while until the new shell hardens – only to become too tight at some point, and the whole process will repeat again and again and again.

This is my experience of life; the old shell has cracked under the pressure of the “new me.” I am feeling vulnerable, and there are pieces of it still stuck that get in the way.

It is the process of growth, and thinking of it like that makes me so at peace with it.

The moment I allowed the thought of relocating, we found a stunning 1930s-style apartment right in the heart of the city center but on a quiet street that is PERFECT!

It is much bigger than the current one, so of course, there is a question of how this can work financially and if it is sustainable long term had to be faced. Can we afford it?

A small change to my business set-up, including the name (which is now called J&J Strategists) and what felt scary becomes doable. A new dimension reached.

And there is so much more that this move opened up. My dream of hosting in-person VIP experiences is now becoming possible.

And so, there is an invitation to come to Tallinn, Estonia, and spend a weekend (or a couple of days midweek) with me strategizing, relaxing, enjoying the medieval Old Town, and creating unforgettable memories.

I have started taking bookings for 2025 already. Click here to find out more.

 

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But back to that bitterness. I realized that my anger was not about someone out there “misleading people.”

I was angry at myself for not taking full responsibility for showing up prominently as I was supposed to and committing to the duty I have to those whom I can guide and lead away from the flashy homogenizing strategies covered in a sparkling, esoteric cover.

(Oh, I am so tempted to call it all out, but I will not.)

I am angry at myself for becoming inconsistent and for making less effort to nurture my own business and my own visibility.

Angry for becoming much less disciplined about it than any business that needs to be sustained requires.

I know more than anyone that passive income is a myth. But I myself have become more and more passive, with my focus drifting onto my personal life recalibration and away from showing up.

It is not about my business not working as is; it is a matter of personal feeling on purpose and the duty I feel I have to guide, to open doors to what’s possible.

And then Mel Robbins called it out so well in her podcast, and I realized that this bitterness is a good springboard into stepping up.

I have a new “shell” to grow, and I intend for it to be glorious!

So I just wanted to share it with you because maybe you are there feeling triggered by someone who is showing up, but truly, they are just showing you that you have not been committed enough to YOURSELF (and your business)…

I hope this contemplation shows it’s time to break that shell!