A recent obsession of mine is how we connect by Human Design. You see, nobody lives “in their design.” We are constantly interacting with others in the physical world. We are conditioning and being conditioned by people around us.

But that is not the only way. We are also affecting each other energetically through the online world. When working with a client on the opposite side of the globe, we are conditioning and interacting with each other precisely the same way. Do not ask me how, but the auric connection transcends the concept of space.

Understanding relationships is the theme of my life on a personal level. It has been quite a ride! From a million heartbreaks to finding my other half (and learning what “happily ever after” really means). Later, working with horrible employers. Learning what nightmare clients look like in my business and finally finding my stance in that environment.

This explains my love for exploring the depth of Human Design personality lines and profiles. Or getting fascinated with environments to find the perfect energetics for balance and creativity (people often are a factor in our correct environments).
As we interact, our individual energies create something new and different altogether, a quantum transformation.
This week I have been looking deeper into the type of connections and contemplating – what if we consciously use these connection energies to leverage our client relationships and businesses?

Let’s just cover the basics. We can have 5 types of connections – they create a unique definition and connect gates and channels in our chart, activating new centers and their frequencies.

Below is an example of a connection

Two colors indicate two separate people’s channels (orange and blue.) In this specific case, the connection activates channels that, in turn, define all nine centers in the chart. This creates a theme 9-0, “Nowhere To Go,” which I will discuss later in this article.

You can also see that channels are grouped into four different sections: Compromise, Dominance, Companionship (Friendship), and Electromagnetic (Attraction/Repulsion).

In a nutshell, they represent how we affect each other.

Compromise Channels

One person has a whole channel activated, and the other has only one gate. Such compromise creates a sort of pull/push energy, making a person with the channel pull the other one into their energy. These are very different energies by nature.

How to work with it. The key for a person with just one gate active is to understand that their design works differently and not “give in” to the energy of the person with the whole channel, as it will never feel aligned for them. Setting healthy boundaries, giving each other space, compromising intentionally, and accepting that the other person is not “just like you” in these aspects. So as Ra suggested, assuming a position of “agree to disagree” is the best approach.

It is also essential to understand that the dynamics here are mechanical. There is nothing one can do to change them. And there will always be a need to compromise in these relationships. It will not always feel suitable for the person with just one gate, as they get conditioned and affected by this energy, but they cannot change it. The only thing we can do is gain awareness about its presence and mechanics. It is not about the person. These are just these things.

Ra’s example (from “How We Connect”)

“For example, the 22nd gate is the gate of the left ear, the gate of listening. Very often, it’s about listening to music or poetry. It has romantic tendencies. For example, here is this couple, and 12 over here (Mr. Wonderful) says,’ I want to listen to blah blah. And 12 over here (Miss Wonderful), the one who has the full channel, says, `I’m going to listen to whatever I want to. Now they don’t necessarily say it that way. The fact is that no matter how the argument will go, in compromise it always leads to arguments. 

Not only that, in this case, if you had someone who was unemotional and she is emotional the moment he would want to listen to something that she doesn’t want to listen to, he would get the emotional wave, at which point he would say `Yes, dear, whatever, you like.’ It’s a mechanic. It’s just a mechanism. It’s not like it’s her fault because, truly, it is NOT her fault. It’s nothing to do with fault or blame. You cannot fault her ancestors or her whole genetic history because this is what she is – she has the whole channel. You can’t blame him. He doesn’t know any better. It’s like every time he wants to go down that road, somebody is trying to control how he gets to the end of it, and it begins to chew at him. This is a compromise. So many relationships have compromise in the construct, sometimes several in the construct. 

Relationships are extraordinary things when you get to that place where you can just let go and accept somebody’s design. Compromise in relationships for the mind is one of those annoying things, and it never stops being annoying to the mind. Because the mind enjoys digging into those things and trying to use them as mechanisms to take control. I understand the helplessness of the other. It mirrors mine. All I can do is embrace what’s there with awareness.”

Dominance Channels

One person has a full channel, and the other has none. All of a sudden, the second person takes in and experiences specific frequencies through this channel, and even more, he starts to start amplifying them. You get a sense of them and identify with them in a very specific way. They are being conditioned by the one with the channel. It is a great opportunity to learn from each other and about each other because you experience this energy consistently in the connection.

How to work with it. The person with the channel can assume the position of the leader in these relationships. It is a way of “lending” this specific energy to the other. The healthiest approach is to watch and celebrate the different energies that the dominant channels bring without making it into a conflict.

For example, my husband has the 43/23 Channel of Structuring, and it is a lot about thinking all the time and downloading insights, but those insights can only make sense to others if articulated clearly and also spoken at the right timing – or when invited to share. One of the darker sides to this channel is that he is very bad at listening. He gets too caught up in his own thinking process that he tunes out, only to turn around to me after a while and say or ask something completely off topic. It used to drive me NUTS. And I noticed that in his presence, I offer to do that same thing, tune out when he and my daughter have chats over coffee. I used to think it was the topic of the discussion that put me off, but I suspect that I am actually being conditioned by this energy, and my tuning out (which interestingly does not happen that often with other people) is turning into a “thing” when I am with him. I just start thinking about something so deeply I lose track of the conversation.

This is how Human Design is saving my marriage. I wish I was kidding, but truly it helps me create so much awareness around things that if my Non-Self was in charge, I would probably already divorced him ten times over this one fault alone. NOW I am kidding.

Companionship (Friendship) Channels

Both people have the same channel defined. You would think it is a perfect scenario, yet it is not that exciting. There are no “energetic attractions” here. Both people are the same. Same gifts. Same shadows. It is not something that is interesting to you because, genetically, we seek diversity, but this is a very deep connection that can offer “the safe place in a storm” – the safety and security on the deep foundational level.

But the other side is indeed boredom. It is not stimulating. It is the same thing.

Electromagnetic Channels (Attraction & Repulsion)

One person has a gate on one side, and the other has a gate on the other side of that same channel. Each is missing what the other has. They are always interested in what the other has, but when they meet, a new sort of “wiring” between the two centers happens.

It is an ever-fluctuating “attraction and repulsion” energy. It jumps back and forth. Love/hate relationships, have you ever been in one? I have! Making up, breaking up, happy to be together, hate being together, cannot be apart, glad to be apart. It is intense. Do you know what is worse? Having a relationship like this with a client. I also know it firsthand… Those were the times when I couldn’t afford even to think about the whole “ideal clients” concept. Or so I felt at the time.

How to work with it. The electromagnetic connection is very strong and can be very powerful in a relationship. The key here is again to understand the electromagnetic channels in the connection and what potential specific issues or enjoyment they bring.

As you can see, AWARENESS is everything. Let me now move to the juicy part- the connection themes. There are four themes, and I will go through all of them. “They are basic, but like all simple things, they carry a tremendous amount of truth”, says Ra.

Connection Theme 9-0: Nowhere To Go

The connection theme on the sample graphic above is the one called “Nowhere to go,” and it means the connection activates all 9 centers. This creates very strong bonding energy. It can be extremely wonderful. Or it can be extremely uncomfortable. This is why entering such a relationship correctly (following your Strategy & Authority) is so key. When these two people are together, there is no place for anyone else in this intimate relationship. They complete each other.

Now, if this is an abusive relationship, it can go very wrong, and it happens a lot out there. They are stuck, and they just cannot leave. They get locked into each other. THERE’S NOWHERE TO GO.

When I looked at connection charts with all my favorite clients, I discovered each one of our connection themes was 9-0. Perhaps this is because I have been following my Splenic Authority and entering these relationships correctly.

8-1: Have Some Fun

This is the formula where 8 of the centers are activated, but there is one open center that is open on both charts, and that center is where the two of these people can be open to – together. They can develop areas of common interest, do things together, and discover the world together. This is a very healthy kind of bond between two beings.

I have to mention the correctness of entering any relationship again is key. Two of the clients with that I did not feel good over time had this bond with me, but it was only fun temporarily. Perhaps we had a lot of electromagnetic drama going on, but I know for a fact that I went against my Splenic impression in both cases, and I regretted it for years after. 

But this also makes me think about what Ra mentions about the splits between the definition: “it’s a mechanical thing. If the splits are there in the relationship, it means there are aspects of the way in which you connect to each other that do not connect to each other. It’s going to represent certain dynamics for the relationship that are going to cause tension.” And if the relationships are not entered correctly, there will be this disconnect that both are bound to feel at times. Or even all the time. Without understanding why and assuming it is the fault of the other person. Yet it is again just mechanics. How to work with it. The only way to deal with it is to surrender and accept that no fixing is required – you just choose to experience this relationship as is or leave. 

7-2: Work To Do

This is an interesting formula because the 7 connected centers are forming a single definition, they do feel complete, but the two open centers mean that there is a possibility for the two different interests to form, where the presence of the partner is not only needed, but sometimes completely unnecessary. This is a kind of relationship that needs more space. It is important to understand the different interests of your partner, and a little break can actually be very healthy. When I have a client with a 7-2 connection, I make sure that I do not undermine a different direction that may attract them, but maybe for me, this seems like a waste of time or just “not my thing” to be strategizing with them in that area. I learned that being transparent and allowing that flexibility is great for these relationships. 

Actually, this is the formula for my connection chart with my mom. There were times we were so aligned together. As a child, we were close, but she always let me choose my direction and have space around me, and that was a perfect parent/child relationship for me at the time. But later in life, different interests and worldview positions created painful conflicts, too (before I discovered Human Design). 

6-3: Better To Be Free

These theme names are hilarious because this is my connection to both my husband Les (my other half in this world) and my daughter Chantelle. So no, this does not mean we hate each other or we are not connected. The bonds between us as superbly strong, but the relationship works much better when we give each other plenty of space. I work in one room all day, hubby in the other on the opposite side of the building. We’ll meet up in the evening and party! Perfect.

When entered correctly, this is such a beautiful energy for anyone with a lot of “lone wolf” energy and likes their “alone time.” As a 1/3 Projector, I enjoy my solitude and the ability to rest and recharge from others’ energies, so this connection seems perfect for my daily life. In relationships with clients, I find that it is great in containers with monthly check-ins, so there is no day-to-day working together scenario. I feel like often, I do not even hear from the client until the time for our call, and we have a great chat and get lots done and lift each other up, and then go our separate ways until the next call. Perfect. 

There is just one more possible connection theme that Ra did not speak about in his lecture. I went through all the charts I have, and there was no one with whom I would form this connection. Hence I have no sample image to show, but let’s talk about what this theme is. 

5-4: Not a Relationship Anymore

In this scenario, five centers are defined, and four are undefined. There is so much of “their own” here. Different interests, principles, values, and worldviews potentially – can be a recipe for disaster and conflict. And yet, if this relationship is correct, it has a great potential to feel most “alive” of all – on the premise that the opposites attract. And a potential to be complete in a completely different way than in a 9-0 theme.

It is a journey of exploration, discovering new sides to each other, never failing to surprise – provided that mutual understanding is established.

How can I use this information in my business? 

Let’s start with the fact that the most crucial condition to having aligned relationships with anyone is how we enter it. Do we follow our inner guidance, our strategy, and our Authority? Or does our Non-Self gets drawn to something for a non-self kind of reason?

AWARENESS is the word repeated here so many times, and it is the key word to what happens next.

Yesterday I had a note from a potential client enquiring about working together, and my Spleen immediately knew – this is a YES, ensuring that it is correct for me to follow up on this “invitation.” When I ran our connection chart, we were a 9-0- a potential to have great working relationships. But in her chart, I also see some strong Manifesting Generator busyness energies, and so I knew I needed to create very clear and healthy boundaries in the container I would offer to her, so our deep connection feels intimate and strong, but not like we cannot get away from each other. 

This sort of awareness makes a lot of decisions – what offer is best suited, in what format, and even at what price point very easy for me to make. And it also helps intentionally approach the relationships in a way that the connection theme determines. Understanding where to speak and where to allow freedom, where to create more intimacy, and where to create much more space. And this will all add to the experience and the transformation through working together. 

At the same time, it gives me a chance to watch for the red flags, and in some potentially conflicting situations, I can check with the specifics of the chart to see if there is something we can adjust, or perhaps just part, which is also an acceptable solution. At the end of it all, we are running our businesses to have a better life, not more stressful.  

Compatibility by Human Design profile

Finally, as we are talking about compatibility, we have to go back to my beloved personality profiles since these are the “roles we play in life.” There are three kinds of connections we can have: Resonant, Harmonious, and Dissonant

A resonant connection is when both people have the same profile. This means they think and experience life similarly, and they can develop a deep level of trust and security in relationships. I love my 1/3 clients and friends. I get them soo deeply, and I see in them all my gifts and my shadows sometimes. Like we know each other forever… The only minus is that the energy is too familiar. So in business, it really depends on what needs to happen. Do they need to be empowered in their own ways or challenged a little bit to charge up from a different way of seeing the world? That would be the question I ask myself as a coach before working with a person with my 1/3 profile.

Harmonious – are the profiles that complement each other well- while on different paths and seeing the world differently, they have the potential for growth and development together. The profile below is mechanically the most harmonious.
6/2 and 3/5
1/3 and 4/6
2/5 and 5/2
1/4 and 4/1
2/4 and 5/1
6/3 and 3/6

Dissonant – profile combinations where there is a potential for misunderstanding of each other’s lifepath. This can potentially lead to misunderstanding and even conflict. 

I have to stress, however, that it is far more important to judge each case individually. It is probably my line 3 talking, but we will not know just by looking at someone’s profile how it will FEEL to connect to them. And so I know that some of my best relationships are not listed under the harmonious ones. And those same profiles can also be on the charts of those people I had my worst relationships within business and in my personal life. 

 So I will leave you with this: awareness is crucial, but labeling based on one’s chart is unacceptable. Unless your inner guidance- your Authority is screaming HELL NO (I mean, it has to be saying Hell YEAH to show correctness), there is definitely an opportunity to explore, discover, learn and grow from every possible relationship. And this is what will help you choose who to work with and who to pass by – listen to your Authority, follow your Human Design Type Strategy and enjoy entering any relationships correctly, whatever they bring.

(Ra’s contemplations quotes were borrowed from A transcript of the Valentine’s Day Event by Ra Uru Hu on February 14, 2010)